Have you seen these car window memorials? These are pretty popular here in NJ.
I’ll try to tread lightly on this topic because I realize 9/11 wasn’t too long ago and we are currently fighting 2 wars. And let’s face it – losing someone you love is very sad.
But your car window??? Is this really how someone should be remembered? Not to mention, why would you want to be reminded of such tragic things every time you get into your car?
About 3 weeks ago my wife and I stopped at a traffic light. I looked over at the white, mid 1990’s generic GM sedan next to us and saw a relatively young girl at the wheel, chain smoking away. I take a look at the back window and I saw one of these memorials, which read “R.I.P. John (Last Name Here) 1982 – 2007“.
What’s so funny about that? Well above his name was (apparently) his favorite quote, which read “ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE“.
Well Johnny, it seems fairly obvious that you weren’t strong enough to survive and this attention starved lady driving the car apparently wants the world to know it.
Folks, this is why we have cemeteries and tombstones… And please… PLEASE think hard about the words used to remember your loved ones.
My dog has OCD.
Let me explain…
So you know those elevated dog bowl trays you can get at any Petco or PetSmart that elevate dog bowls off the ground, so they do not have to bend over to eat off the floor? Well, we have one for our dog, Rocky.
Apparently these elevated trays are specifically designed to “promote better digestion” and “reduce air swallowing”. I assume reduced air swallowing is supposed to reduce dog farts, but no one has explained that to Rocky.
Anyway, when I feed Rocky, I usually put his water bowl in the left tray hole, and his food bowl in the right tray hole, as pictured here:
Rocky Eating Food
Last week, without realizing, I placed his water bowl on the right side of his tray and his food bowl on the left. I then proceeded to sit down at the kitchen table and chat with my wife. As we were talking, we were interrupted by a dog whine. We looked over to see him refusing to eat his food. He just stared at me. So I said, “Go ahead and eat, Rocky,” and resumed my conversation. As soon as I started talking, he whined again.
I got up and checked out his food bowl. Everything looked normal, so I once again encouraged him to eat with a pat on the head.
He just continued to stared at me and wagged his tail.
I was now perplexed. I asked my wife what she thought was wrong. She looked at the arrangement of his bowls and said, “Oh, maybe he’s upset because his bowls are out of place.”
My wife swaps his bowls, pats him on the head, and without hesitation, the dog proceeds to eat every bit of kibble.
What goes through a dog’s head that makes him NOT want to eat because his bowls are not in the “right” order? Do wolves only eat their kill on the right side of their favorite watering hole? Apparently, it doesn’t matter what they eat, as long as it is on the right hand side of a water source.
Anyway, I am now wondering what the marketplace demand is for Doggy Feng Shui? Hey don’t laugh. I now have doggy therapy to pay for!
I possess the power to stop time. Crazy, right? I would have thought so too – had I not experienced it. This is some “Unbreakable” shit I’m talking about.
For your consideration:
I was standing near the bottom of the steps that lead upstairs in my home. My wife was getting our 2yr old son ready for bed. As I sipped my coffee and watched the weather report, I could hear them in his bedroom laughing and chatting. The scene was nothing more then ordinary.
On the TV, they were predicting some nasty weather. “Great…” I thought to myself. I had to leave for work in an hour and was running through the evening in my head.
From over my shoulder I heard the familiar patter of my son’s feet as he ran around playfully – I knew he was goading my wife into chasing him.
“WATCH OUT!” my wife called. There was panic in her voice.
I turned my head and out of the corner of my eye I saw our son’s feet slide off the top landing of the steps.
Time stopped. He appeared suspended in the air.
He was wearing his pajamas and socks. Obviously he had run away from her towards the steps but couldn’t stop as his socks slid on the hard wood floor. His expression was changing from laughter to confusion.
His body lowered in the air a tiny bit as the clock ticked forward. He reached for something, anything, to grab – but there was nothing but air.
I spun on my heels and extended my arm, hooking him under his arms and stopping his decent. His face just barely made contact with the top of the second step as I lifted him.
The clock ticked forward.
I held him to my chest and examined him. Nothing seemed broken. Nothing was bleeding. He was startled but already calming down. Injuries amounted to a fat lip that lasted less then 24hrs.
And I never spilled a drop of coffee.